On Life Purpose and Wounded healers: From Ego to Integrity

Many of us ask the question: “What is my life’s purpose?”

In today’s capitalistic world, we are programmed to compete — to be better than others, to earn more, to own more. But eventually, we come to feel the emptiness inside, because no amount of money or possessions can fill our hearts. And so we begin to seek purpose.

Over time, I’ve come to realize that our ultimate purpose is to be of service — to each other and to Mother Earth. We are built to exist in sacred reciprocity, in relationship with all that lives.

Indigenous people have a saying, “Aho Mitakuye Oyasin.” It means “To All My Relations.” It’s a prayer of interconnectedness — an acknowledgment that all beings—humans, animals, plants, even the stones and rivers—are relatives, deeply interwoven. This prayer reminds us of harmony and unity with all life, something modern society has largely forgotten.

Rediscovering the Spirit of Service

Our current systems and values have disconnected us from the spirit of service that once held our communities together. Deep down, though, every one of us still carries that ancient knowing — the desire to be of value to something larger than ourselves.

Yet with the rise of individualism and the glorification of independence, we’ve lost the web of community and inter-abundance that once made life lighter.

We are not meant to do this alone.

Our purpose is not to be better, more important, or more special — it’s to be a part of the whole.

Unfortunately, no one taught us that everything is sacred, that every act of service holds equal value.

The person who grows your food.

The driver who delivers it to the store.

The one who makes your coffee each morning.

The teacher who guides your child.

The plumber who fixes your sink.

The musician whose song moves your heart.

The list of those who serve for the highest good of all is endless.

When we forget the sacredness of this web, we begin to crave recognition — to want our service to be seen. We start to confuse purpose with praise.

Not Everyone Is Meant to Be a Healer

That’s often when many are drawn to the role of “healer” or “coach” — not because it’s their true calling, but because it seems meaningful and admired.

But not everyone is meant to be a healer. And that’s okay — it’s more than okay.

We are all works in progress. The purpose of healing is not to make us perfect, but to expand our awareness — to train the inner muscle of honesty and self-reflection.

The more aware we become, the more clearly we can see where we’re out of alignment with our truth — where we act outside integrity, where we seek validation instead of acting from love.

It’s important not to get trapped in an endless cycle of “needing to heal.” True healing happens through living — through relationships, daily choices, and the simple act of being present.

Our purpose isn’t about achieving something grand or becoming a “healed” version of ourselves. It’s about walking through life with heart — treating others well, showing up fully, and doing what we do with care and presence.

Purpose Lives in the Ordinary

Whether it’s dancing, singing, building community, cooking, crafting, or simply tending to what you love — if it lights up your spirit, you are living your purpose.

We often chase the idea of being healed, happy, and fulfilled, always reaching for a future moment. But when we pause and come back to the present, we discover that purpose already lives here.

In the breath.

In the gratitude.

In the act of doing what we can, with love.

Because the purpose is not the destination — it’s the journey itself.

To walk it well, we must tend to our own well-being — body, mind, and spirit — through whatever nourishes us: time in nature, stillness, movement, ceremony, meditation, or laughter with loved ones.

When Spirituality Becomes an Identity

When spirituality becomes an identity, it starts to define and control all aspects of life. If that’s the only place we find meaning, everything else begins to wither.

True balance means caring for all parts of ourselves equally — physical, emotional, and spiritual.

When we get caught up in our spiritual work, we may lose touch with the material world and the important aspects of it. After all, we are born human, and its equally important to tend to all parts of life.

No matter how spiritually evolved you become, chop wood, carry water. And most of all, remember that we are all equal and all doing our best, learning the lessons our soul set to go through. If you ever think that you’re better than someone else, your Ego is just covering your need for validation with the blanket of Spiritual Evolution.

The Wounded Healer

We all carry wounds. Many of us turn to energy work or plant medicines to heal, and there, we often rediscover belonging — a sense of family and purpose that society has forgotten. Within that circle, many feel called to walk the healer’s path.

But this is where deep discernment is needed.

Where is that desire truly coming from?

Some souls are genuinely called — gifted with abilities and devotion to help others heal and elevate consciousness. But for many, the calling arises from the wounded child — the one who never felt seen or loved enough, now seeking to be acknowledged and special.

Yes, our wounds shape us and teach us. But they do not always define our purpose.

Our true medicine is being of service in the ways that come naturally to us — in the work our soul finds joy in doing. Whether that’s brewing coffee, teaching children, fixing things, or creating art — if we do it with love, integrity, and presence, we have fulfilled our purpose.

There isn’t always a “higher” or more glamorous meaning. Sometimes, the meaning is the act of showing up with heart.

We are here to learn, to grow, and to walk each other home — in sacred reciprocity with all of life.

For Those Who Are Truly Called

For those who are called to the healer’s path, self-reflection is essential. Ask yourself:

Is this desire coming from the heart, or from the need for validation?

This is sacred work, and if not done properly, it can cause harm.

True healing work requires humility and integrity.

We cannot hold real power without humility. If we seek praise, recognition, or influence through our work, we are moving from ego — and ego has no place in this path.

Integrity means knowing your limits. If someone comes to you for help that is beyond your experience or training, the most loving act may be to refer them to someone more qualified. Taking them on for personal gain risks doing more harm than good.

And if the motivation is money, attention, or status — integrity is already lost.

This sacred knowledge is passed down through generations, through years of apprenticeship and devotion. It’s not something learned in a weekend course or online certification. It’s a lifelong path of surrender, humility, and responsibility.

We may also perceive someone else’s issues through the prism of our wounds and respond with clouded judgement, so it is vital to continue working on ourselves to clear potential resonance with those that come to us for help.

For those seeking healing — always ask your healer what lineage they trained in and what experience they hold. True healers will answer with humility and reverence, not defensiveness or pride.

Because this work, like all true service, is not about being special — it’s about remembering that we are all connected, all part of one great web of life.

And that, in itself, is the greatest purpose of all.

The Forgotten Rite of Passage

In the modern world, many of us never truly grow up. We remain trapped in the little child within us because we’ve forgotten the ancient teachings of rites of passage into adulthood — those sacred transitions that once helped us discover who we are, remember what we are, and understand the values we are meant to walk with.

My elders of the Indigenous Red Road teach about four major values: humility, willpower, sincerity, and integrity.

These teachings are carried through sacred ceremonies, through prayer, and through the Vision Quest — a rite of passage that reconnects us with Spirit and reminds us of our place in the great web of life.

They remind us that we are all interwoven into that web, and that to live well is to live in sacred reciprocity with All — with our Earth Mother who gives us everything we need.

We already have everything we need. It is greed, fear, and the craving for comfort and entertainment that create the illusion of scarcity in this world.

To walk well means to treat each other and her with respect, to give more than we take, and to always ask permission before taking.

So I pray for all of us to walk well in this understanding and find our true purpose in this web of life.

Aho Mitakuye Oyasin.